I am scared to step over the edge of the pier

I tell myself

     When I get there I will be happier

     When I get there I won’t remember feeling bad

     When I get there I’ll have more control

 

I tell myself to not look back

 

Foot pendulates,

     Over

          Over

               Over

                         Over, the pylon

 

I jump in with both feet

And pretend I’m a sea urchin

To survive the new, ebbing energy

 

The tide has gone out

My shell has dried and fallen off

 

When I thought I’d be happier

     I thought I’d do it as a shark

When I thought I’d stop feeling bad

     I thought I’d do it as a clownfish

When I thought I’d have more control

     I thought I’d be the ocean

 

 

I am an urchin

I have looked back

 

 

 

 

                                        Actions always planned are never complete

                                        —- Democritus

 

About the Author:

Voluntarily removed from parochial school in the 4th grade over sexual content in a book she was publishing for friends, Darby Bailey eventually went from downtown Salt Lake City to Santa Cruz to L.A., where she is pursing her B.A. degree at Antioch University. When she’s not writing, Darby makes a living as a voice over artist, actress and musician. She is a proud resident of downtown Los Angeles and supports it’s revitalization.