On the wall is a growth chart
of what you will never be: apple
seed, bean, cantaloupe. I imagine
your toes, your fingernails, your
translucence. And all this to say
my body will not hold you,
your beautiful helix of cells,
your umbilical tug. There is no
miracle in me, no God to breathe
into the awful tumble of my want.
But already I am carrying you
with me, the idea of you. I carry
you under my tongue, in my teeth,
each finger. I tuck you into
my handbag, my fist of damp
tissues, in this blue dress
I slip back on, rebutton.
Amanda Auchter is the author of The Wishing Tomb, winner of the PEN Center USA Literary Award for Poetry and the Perugia Press Book Award, and The Glass Crib, winner of the Zone 3 Press First Book Award for Poetry. Her writing appears in publications such as Alaska Quarterly Review, HuffPost, CNN, Black Warrior Review, Shenandoah, Tupelo Quarterly, The Massachusetts Review, and the Academy of American Poets Poem-a-Day project, among others. She holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Bennington College and is a contributing reviewer for Rhino. She lives in Houston, TX.